Constructive Communication in Managing Service Providers – When to Communicate in Writing and When to Speak in Person?
Let’s take a closer look at constructive communication in service provider management – when is written communication appropriate, and when is it better to talk in person?
Friday afternoon, just before the end of the workday in Bernd Baumann’s office:
“Just quickly send that email to our service provider. They’ve complained again about missing the deadline. But honestly, they have no clue… I’ll give them some feedback…”
The email is sent, and we can already guess what’s coming next – a reply that’s just as sharp.
Many are familiar with the escalation that can arise from email ping-pong. That’s why this blog focuses on choosing the right communication channel when criticism and conflict need to be addressed.
Let’s start by acknowledging what ALWAYS happens in interpersonal communication: there is a factual level and a relationship level.
Communication in Service Provider Management
Figure 1: Iceberg Model – Factual and Relationship Levels
In written communication, the relationship level is barely perceptible. Non-verbal signals such as facial expressions, gestures, tone of voice, and body language are missing. This leaves it up to the reader to “fill in” the missing relationship cues. This often leads to interpretations of tone and intent that may not have been intended.
If I assume that the other person means well, I’m less likely to perceive conflict in the message. But if I suspect a strained relationship, I’m more likely to interpret the message negatively.
Here’s a helpful guide to choosing the right communication channel to avoid escalation and conflict:
Level 1: Written Communication
Suitable when there are few or no issues on the relationship level, or as a supplement to personal communication when written documentation is needed for security.
Level 2: Chat, SMS, WhatsApp
Emojis can convey emotions to a limited extent. A smiley can help emotionally contextualize potentially ambiguous messages.
Level 3: Voice Message
Tone and emotion are more apparent through voice. However, it still feels somewhat “artificial” because there’s no immediate response. The sender knows the recipient has time to prepare a reply, which may not be spontaneous. This delay can hinder trust-building.
Level 4: Phone Call
Tone of voice adds a relational dimension to the communication. This helps interpret statements more accurately on the relationship level.
Level 5: Video Conference with Camera
Some body language (from the torso up) is visible, which helps especially in conflict situations to interpret relational cues and increases the chances of resolving the conflict successfully.
Level 6: In-Person Meeting
Action and reaction are visible in real time. You can see and feel if someone is sweating or trembling with fear. Changes in skin color, movements in the room – whether expansive or withdrawn – are unconsciously registered and evaluated every millisecond. This allows for a complex assessment of whether what is being said feels credible. Important decisions in crisis or conflict situations should always be made in person.
Conclusion – Constructive Communication in Service Provider Management
Next time a conflict arises, consider whether choosing the right communication channel could lead to a quicker resolution.
If you’d like to learn more about the art of constructive communication in managing service providers, we recommend the seminar “Practice of IT Provider Management.”
